She sensed his discerning presence. She had been expecting him for a while; yet was fainthearted about the time of his arrival. But he had come, and she surrendered. I take to be her before he came- strong and beautiful. Now she was his prisoner and he the prison guard, refusing her liberation. How could he be so cruel, so painful? The hair he wrenched out of her head used to be a bed of flowing honey. I remember the stand up time I held it, final time I maxim it, all glossy and golden. All I saw was a scalp blanketed in bareness. Her eyes, erstwhile electric, were dry and grey. Her lips, once passionate, were indifferent. They could no longer taste the sweetness of life- a life that was once a firecracker, a life that lived. But I even loved her; I loved her with the fire of a cardinal suns-I loved her, yet I loathed him. The very though of him direct me into hysterics, relentlessly bawling for hours. An ocean of tears was before me, and I was drowning. I would have done anything to save her from him, but it was impossible. never before have I felt so helpless. I had always been the know-it- all prodigy, the one who had all the answers. I could not conquer him, nor could any weapon or army.
During his stay, her and I would often talk. I asked her if she was afraid of him. She nodded her head ever so thinly as if she did not want to inflict this fear upon me too. With his arrival, came alert nights for both of us. She, unable to rest because of all the baggage he brought, and me, out of guilt. How could I have possibly slept when the one...
I could feel the foresight coming from her words. Very moving yet slightly disturbing. hold off up the good work!
- was potent, yes
- lacked something undefinable
- felt unfinished
- very descriptive
The stress brings out the ferocity of lusting love.
I appreciate the use of all-powerful diction such as malignancy and tranquility manifested. such diction brings about sudden trepidation to the reader, which can be described as quite disturbing. However, the incoherent use of fervency and diction shows that the writer edited the demonstrate a fewer times, which will not earn points, but in feature ruin the simplicity of the essay.
The essay on the overall lacked a definition. I do agree with what liquid_frog said about the essay being felt unfinished. Good try though.
This was a very well written essay. It allows the reader to define the charachters fine intentions for himself. The description in this essay is outstanding. Good work.
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